


A Walk in the Park

by karrahbear



Series: Malec Drabbles [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-09
Updated: 2017-03-09
Packaged: 2018-10-01 08:24:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10185035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karrahbear/pseuds/karrahbear
Summary: Post 'Malec' -Magnus finds Alec sitting on the steps of the Institute the next evening and they go for a walk.Alec takes the opportunity to say thank you.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was only supposed to be like 500 words long, but it got away from me a bit. I have several other short Malec scenes sitting in my head, so maybe this will be only one of many.
> 
> Un-beta'd. All mistakes are my own.
> 
> Also, I suck at tagging, so if you like it and would like to kindly suggest some tags, I would be eternally grateful :)

Alec sat on the steps of the Institute, replaying those moments from hours before, when Magnus had strode into the chapel and his life turned on its head. Everything he’d worked for, trained for, could now be in jeopardy, and yet… Alec felt lighter. He’d felt that way since the non-wedding, and he’d chalked it up to adrenaline and hormones, figuring when he finally got a chance to breathe and process, the weight that usually pressed down on his shoulders would return. But it hadn’t. Hours had passed, almost a day, most of that time spent away from Magnus, and he still felt…happier?

Alec wasn’t even sure if he knew what happiness was, let alone what it felt like. For as long as he could remember, he’d felt suffocated, wrapped in the invisible cloak of responsibility that he’d come to think of as ‘first-child’ syndrome, the self-imposed obligation to look out for his younger siblings and live up to the expectations set by their parents. His life plan had always been simple: train hard, keep his siblings in line, marry a nice girl, and take over the Institute. No matter what life threw at him, his course never deviated. 

Not even when he hit puberty and started to realize that he might be different. That unlike Jace, he wasn’t interested in the swell of girls’ breasts or the roundness of their hips, and he didn’t think about what a girl looked like naked; instead, his gaze wandered across broad shoulders and down strong arms, tracing the dips and valleys between pectorals and abdominals, and following the line of hair under navels that disappeared into waistbands. He didn’t even have a name for his ‘aberration’ until he was nearly eighteen. 

_Alec, Jace, and Izzy had been walking home from an evening patrol when Izzy had pulled them into a 24 hour pharmacy. She loved to read the mundane gossip magazines and wanted to stock up while she had the chance. Later that night, after Jace had gone to bed, Alec had heard a knock on his door. He’d opened it to find Izzy, who informed him that she couldn’t sleep before shoving her stack of magazines into his arms and pushing into his room. Alec had just rolled his eyes fondly before shutting the door and joining her on his bed. She picked up the top magazine from where he set the stack down on the nightstand, and he picked up the book he’d been reading before her intrusion._

_Izzy fell sleep within an hour, her magazine open on the bed next to her. Alec was reaching over to pick it up and put it away when a couple small photos caught his eye. He picked up the magazine and turned it so he could see the photos right side up and read the caption. The first photo showed two men, famous Mundies probably, dressed in tuxedos and laughing with their arms around each other. The photo next to it showed the same men, their arms still around each other, but this time the shorter one was looking at someone or something outside the view of the camera, while the taller one gazed down at shorter one, a small smile on his lips and a softness in his eyes that made Alec's chest ache._

_To this day, he has no idea what the caption said, other than it contained the word ‘gay’. Alec spent half the night staring at the photos before he finally dropped off._

_The next morning, Alec sat on the edge of Isabelle’s bed, watching his sister finish getting ready. He couldn’t stop his fingers from fidgeting, so he shoved them under his thighs._

_“Hey, Iz?”_

_Isabelle hummed an acknowledgement around the hair tie in her mouth as she gathered her dark curls into a ponytail._

_“Do you know, uh, do you know what, um –“_

_Izzy wrapped the elastic around her ponytail and turned away from the mirror to look at him._

_“Spit it out, big brother.”_

_“What does ‘gay’ mean?” The question tumbled awkwardly out of his mouth, followed by a stumbling mess of an explanation and rising panic. “I saw it, uh, in one of the magazines you were reading last night. Not that I was reading your magazines. I was just putting away the one that you fell asleep reading, and I saw, it was, you know what, nevermind.”_

_He started to stand up, to try to make a quick escape and go die of humiliation in his own room, but Isabelle’s soft hand on his shoulder made his knees give out and he sank back to the bed. He avoided her eyes for as long as he could, but when he finally felt like he was going to be sick, she spoke, and he looked up to find her with a sad smile._

_“It just means that you’re attracted to the same sex.”_

_“Oh.”_

_Her hand remained a solid, comforting presence on his shoulder while he processed the new information. There was a name for his peculiarity. A label. That meant it couldn’t be all that strange, right? If it was common enough to have a name, then he couldn’t be the only one._

_“Is that just a Mundie problem? Or –“_

_Izzy gripped his shoulder tightly, long nails digging his t-shirt into the muscles of his shoulder._

_“It’s not a problem,” she told him fiercely. “There’s nothing wrong about being gay. At all.”_

_He met her eyes and his stomach dropped. She knew. He didn’t know how, but she knew, and she’d known longer than he had. Alec’s chest struggled to expand, unable to pull air into his lungs, and his hands started to tremble._

_Isabelle stepped between his knees and pulled him forward, pressing his head into her chest, while he looped his long arms around her waist. He didn’t notice the tears on his own cheeks, but he could feel Izzy’s fingers in his hair and hear her murmured mantra._

_“There’s nothing wrong with you, big brother. There’s nothing wrong with you…”_

Yet despite his sister’s support, it was still a secret that sat like a stone in his gut. Normally he could ignore it, even when Jace was around, but there were times, when Jace was shirtless at practice or flirting with a girl at a bar, when that stone decided to roll, knocking painfully around his in stomach. For a long time, there was a small part of Alec that hated his Parabatai for rattling loose those feelings he’d worked so hard to control and ignore.

Alec hadn’t realized just how heavy that stone had become until it was gone. No more nodding along while Jace chattered about a girl. No more strangled answers when adults asked whether he had girlfriend or when he was going to settle down. No more anxiety over whether someone noticed that his eyes lingered a little too long on an attractive man. No more family obligation to marry a girl, and as such, possibly no chance to run the Institute.

All he’d ever wanted to do was make his parents and his siblings proud, to bring honor to the Lightwood family name by following his perfectly crafted plan. He thought that he should probably feel more upset over the fact that he’d possibly lost his chance to head the Institute, but the disappointment and sorrow never arrived, only a bone deep sense of relief and a sudden cognizance of his emotional exhaustion. His future was now wide open and full of possibilities. It was equal parts exhilarating and terrifying.

“Alexander?”

The shadowhunter jumped, looking up to find Magnus standing a few feet in front of him.

“I didn’t mean to startle you.”

Alec ran a hand through his hair. 

“It’s fine. I was just thinking.”

Magnus didn’t answer, just continued to watch Alec with a look that made his stomach flutter.

“So, uh, what’re you doing here?” 

The warlock smiled, warmly, the kind of smile that Alec had rarely seen on him. Alec’s heart stepped up its pace.

“I was in the neighborhood,” he shrugged, “and thought I would see if you were free to take a walk.”

Alec smiled back, his ears and neck flushed, and thought about pointing out that Magnus didn’t have any reason to be in his neighborhood. But his snarky comment died in his throat when the warlock extended his hand.

“Well?”

“Sure,” he answered finally, hoping it didn’t sound as breathless as he felt.

Alec accepted Magnus’s hand and stood up, expecting him to let go, but as they strolled down the sidewalk towards the small park on the next block, Magnus slipped his fingers between Alec’s, pressing their palms together. When they reached the corner to wait for the light to change so they could cross, Magnus spoke.

“You’re fretting, my dear.”

Alec looked at Magnus. 

“What?”

The smile on Magnus’s face widened a bit.

“If you're trying to come up with something to talk about, I'll have you know that I just wanted to spend some time with you; conversation is unnecessary, your presence is enough.”

“Oh.”

The look of relieved confusion on his face made Magnus huff a laugh and push up on his toes to place a fleeting kiss on the shadowhunter’s lips. When Magnus settled back on his feet, he looked at Alec with slight trepidation.

“Was that alright? I mean, are you comfortable with that? I know it’s a minor gesture compared to what happened at the wedding, but I don’t want to push you – “

A flustered Magnus was something Alec had never witnessed, and Alec thought the pink flush across his cheekbones and the tips of his ears was possibly the cutest thing he’d ever seen. Alec ducked his head and pressed a kiss to Magnus’s lips effectively silencing him.

“You’re not pushing. That was perfect.”

The light changed, signaling they could cross, so the pair made their way to the next block and turned into the park, following the arrows that pointed out a jogging trail through the trees. The sun had dipped below the horizon, so the trail, darkened by the shadows of the trees, was deserted. 

A warm contentment bloomed in Alec’s chest as they followed the winding path. He was more at peace than he’d probably ever been, and he was brought up short by the thought that if Magnus hadn’t come through the door when he did, he wouldn’t be holding hands with the High Warlock of Brooklyn on a romantic twilight stroll through the park. Alec stopped walking.

“Alexander?”

He turned to face Magnus, taking the warlock’s other hand. He leaned forward, eyes closed, to rest his forehead against Magnus’s for a moment.

“I want to say thank you.”

“For what?”

The honest confusion in his voice caused a swell of affection in Alec’s chest and made his heart hurt.

“For fighting for me.”

He forced himself to open his eyes and look at Magnus, internally battling his way through the embarrassment and fear, stepping over the self-doubt, and wrapping himself in the knowledge that Magnus was just as uncertain about everything happening between them as he was.

“If you hadn’t arrived when you did, I –“

Alec’s throat closed up and he glanced away, gathering himself. After a few seconds, he could tell Magnus was getting ready to speak, and he pushed forward, needing to say what was on his mind.

“I’m just – I don’t think you know how much,” his voice cracked, “how much you did for me, how much I needed,” he cleared his throat with little success, “I needed…that push, th-that…”

He sucked in a shuddering breath as Magnus’s hands cupped his face, thumbs brushing softly across his cheekbones.

“I didn’t mean to push –“

“No! That’s not – I meant – ” 

Alec growled in frustration at his inability to express the thoughts inside his head, to put adequate words to the ideas he was attempting to convey. Magnus made a soft comforting noise, but didn’t attempt to interrupt any further. Alec’s hands, now free, had found their way to Magnus’s hips, and he tugged gently. The warlock acquiesced and stepped closer calming Alec some and allowing him to gather his thoughts enough to continue.

“I needed someone to tell me that m-my happiness was important. That I – I deserved to be happy and that being true to myself was more important than any family duty or societal expectation. And I know,” Alec sighed softly, “Izzy’s told me all that more than once, but…”

“She’s your sister?” Magnus offered.

Alec chuckled once in agreement. 

“Yeah. She’s supposed to love me and all that. But you… You saw me, got to know me, and even after living through centuries of heartbreak and all the shit I put you through, decided that I was worth putting your heart on the line again. That kind of declaration, Magnus…” 

Alec blinked, dislodging a couple tears that had been gathering along his lower lash line.

“Oh, Alexander.”

Alec knew he would never get tired of the way Magnus’s tongue could smooth the harsh edges of his name, his soft voice ghosting along the rise and fall of syllables, molding the discordant jumble of letters into a one-word benediction that never failed to make him want to laugh and cry at the same time.

Magnus said his name again, this time softer, barely a breath, and then sealed Alec’s lips with his own, kissing him hard and desperate, with Alec responding in kind. 

When Magnus pulled away, Alec sucked in a gasp of oxygen he hadn’t realized he needed.

“Let me know,” Magnus murmured, catching his breath, “please, let me know if –“ Magnus turned his face away from Alec’s searching lips, “this is important, so please, if you get uncomfortable with anything, let me know.”

Alec nodded distractedly, placing soft kisses across the side of Magnus’s face and down his jaw.

“Promise?”

Alec’s lips brushed the hollow under his ear, making the warlock’s breath hitch.

“Promise,” he whispered, letting out a low groan of triumph when Magnus turned his head to catch the shadowhunter’s lips again.


End file.
